Don't mention the P word!

It looks like I made the second clue way to easy and you were all right but my mother was the first to guess correctly so I think I'll have to blackmail her. Mum when you come and visit us I will present you with your prize!

Once a year the dreaded P word is mentioned in our house.

The dreaded P word is Project.

While I understand that children have to write projects they cause a lot of stress and tension. Ben was looking forward to his first project until Mollie started telling how boring they were then it was moans and tears all the way.

Yesterday there were smiles of relief as he finished it.

Lucky Ben.

Mollie's project starts on Monday and she has two and a half weeks to produce twenty pages on Luxembourg. The children were all given an EU country and guess what? The school library has a book on every single EU country except Luxembourg. The children have to write to their countries embassy for information and guess what? There is no Luxembourg embassy in Ireland so Mollie wrote to their UK embassy, it could take a week for her letter to get there which leaves a week and half to receive their reply and use their material in the project.

I'm really not looking forward to the next two and a half weeks!

Still Guessing...

As nobody guessed correctly it's time for clue number two: Next week I need to bring a scarf along to the class to tie around a part of my body (over my clothes)!


I just thought I'd include this picture of Ben sleeping. For some reason he's taken to removing his pyjama top (copying big brother and dad I guess) and he's sleeping on a big Snoopy which was mine when I was a girl and survived the trip back to Dublin two years ago despite being dropped in a pool of mucky, oily water in the airport carpark.

Guess what...

Yesterday I started a new exercise activity and my children had great fun trying to guess what it was. After three clues Mollie guessed, it was very funny as they threw out wild suggestions so I thought I'd ask you lot to guess. The first clue is that it was a form of exercise, if nobody guesses there will be another clue tomorrow...and yes there will be a prize for the winner.

Witty Wednesday comes from my usual supplier.

A man was in a long line at his local supermarket. As he got to the checkout he realised he had forgotten to get condoms so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked; 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he didn't know so she asked him to drop his trousers. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom; 'One box of large condoms, Checkout 5:

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the checkout, he told the check out girl that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the checkout for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his trousers. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said; 'One box of medium-sized condoms, Checkout 5:

A few customers back was a teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the checkout he told the assistant he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said; 'Mop and bucket to checkout 5'.

To E or not to E.

After John saw some road signs stating the obvious he challenged us to find our own and even hinted there may be a prize in store. Not that I'm desperate to win competitive or anything but I did resort to trying some blackmail. That didn't work so I started reading road signs. This is not the best thing to do when driving your dad's new car for the first time, through tiny country lanes in the English countryside. I even found a sign but due to the confines of the small country lane and the tail of traffic behind me I was not able to stop and take a photograph. The sign, at an entrance to a road (which was big enough for cars and struck me as an average country lane) said "Motors not allowed", I wouldn't like to live down that lane as it would be a long walk with the grocery shopping.

The only other sign I saw was in Wookey Hole Caves. Obviously the sign writer could not spell and when the mistake was noticed they just slipped in another E. So John does that win me a prize?

One last joke to share with you courtesy of John, I hope it doesn't offend anyone but it made me laugh.

The Value of a Catholic Education and a #2 Pencil

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But Mary didn't stir from her slumber......Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. "Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell
back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."! What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The nun fainted...........

And the answer is...

First of all I'd like to thank all of you who stopped by to wish my dad a happy birthday and for those who commented on the photo, it was taken in December 2003 on my granny's 80th birthday.

Further thanks to all those guesses on what daps were. Some of you were close but only two were correct. Daps are gutties or plimsolls so congratulations to Sally and Sam who both knew the answer. For those who are still completely lost, daps are canvas shoes with rubber soles and may be known as sneakers or chucks in the USA or tennis shoes in Australia, for a more detailed description read here. Willowtree was on the right track when he asked: "I've got no idea, but while we're asking questions: do you say runners, sneakers, joggers, tennies or tennis shoes"? In answer to WT's question I called them daps (even though daps are officially the canvas shoes), even when I lived 230 miles away in Hull. Once living in Ireland I taught Dillon the word daps but no one else knew what we were talking about as they called them runners, a word I couldn't stand. So I taught Dillon and Mollie trainers because at least people knew what they were. By the time Ben came along I was Irish enough to say runners. I think some people in Bristol still call trainers daps but they are a dying breed. Small prizes will be winging their way to Sally, Sam (even though I said no family guesses, she's my sis and it's my blog so I can change my mind) and Willowtree because he sort of guessed it without knowing (if you send me your address).

Eeee bah gum

Conversation overheard in the swimming pool changing room in very Bristolian accents.

Her "Di' I tell ya I go' the list for school?"

Him "Nah"

Her "It ha' daps on them, I din't know what daps were"

Him "I do they're...."

I wanted to butt in at this point and tell her as well but I didn't. So who, besides my family, know what daps are? They are an everyday item and I taught Dillon the word but it didn't stick as no one in Ireland knew them by that name. There may even be a small prize if anyone can guess the answer.

And the winner is...and an award.

Thank you all for entering my competition and yes there was a winner. Mum thought it was far too hard and no one would guess but I knew my readers and knew that one of you would realise that the clue was in an earlier post. Drum roll please...and the winner is...Frannie. Clever Frannie guessed that Dillon insisted on bringing 'hair product for his new do' and the correct answer was hairspray, a small can of hairspray was apparently more important than tent poles, they were somehow left behind (not by Dillon) and the lads slept under the stars one night in a forest and one night on a beach. Luckily for them it didn't rain.

Of course I need to award prizes for the funniest answer-enidd, 'enidd thinks dillon wanted to pack a standard lamp (with a nice beige shade with tassles), a 1974 copy of women's own magazine, and a thong (black leather, studded)'; the most inventive answer-Wendy, ''...But the real story is he smuggled all those tortoise eggs away from Grandma and is taking them back to the beach where they can be hatched and liberated!" and two awards for the answer I like best Julie and Beckie because they chose items (a pillow for the bike seat and toilet roll) I would insist fit into my rucksack if I was going cycling and camping. Well done girls, I'm going to make the prizes so they may take a while to reach you but if you send me your addresses (enidd, Julie and Beckie) at some point your prize will make it's way out to you!

Last week Swampwitch awarded me this award which made me feel really chuffed. As a child I had no creative skills, absolutely zero and was very jealous of my sister. Sam could draw, paint, sing, sew and cook and as for me? I failed my O'Level in art, I have not one single note in my head (aged six a teacher told me to mouth the words because I was spoiling the singing in school), sew (I tried bags I could manage but not clothes) and cook, well I'm sure I told you about the burnt pan of potatoes. The past few years I seem to have found some things I can do and would like to thank Swampy for recognising this.


Now I get to award five other bloggers with this award.

Steffi, is the most amazing seamstress. She makes the most beautiful clothes and Mollie has been lucky enough to receive some. Steffi also has the a lovely garden full of beautiful flowers and she blogs in two languages.

Nikki, makes beautiful jewellery and writes a really funny blog, she never fails to make me laugh.

Emma, is big into scrap booking (I'd never heard of it before) and makes all sorts of lovely things. Emma kindly sent me some of her handmade cards which were beautiful and I never want to buy a card again!

Hellojed, gave up her job to write a book, some days she struggles and some days she gets her creative juices flowing. It's exciting following her as she creates her novel.

Deborah, makes yummy food that I can cook for my family. She comes up with delicious menus everyday and she has small children. I often find myself making the same few things so admire her diversity and drool over her dishes.

Another holiday...and a competition.

I know I have some of you may think I have the life of Riley, before I even finish posting my memories of France I'm off on my travels again. This time I'm heading off to Rosslare in County Wexford. A friend of mine has a holiday house there and has invited us down for a few days. The collage below shows the beach we'll (hopefully) be spending lots of time on. These photos were taken in August 2004, do you see how empty the beach is? Bliss.

Before I go I'd like to host a competition. Dillon's scout leader has taken Dillon and two other scouts (along with three leaders) cycling for a few days. They will be camping on beaches, and carrying all they need in small rucksacks on their backs. There will be a prize for the person who guesses what item Dillon insisted goes into his rucksack above things like sleeping bag, water and clean underwear, as well as a prize for the funniest/most inventive/answer we like best. I hope there are lots of answers for me to judge when I return at the weekend and no mum and Mollie you can't enter because you know the answer!

Make My Kid Eat.

Deborah, who posts the most mouth watering recipes over at The Humble Housewife is hosting a competition which she describes below:

I get several emails each week asking for recipes that will appeal to kids. As a mother of two picky toddlers I know that this is a constant challenge for many of us. So why not pool our knowledge? So to celebrate my 100th blog post I am hosting a competition to find the best recipe for kids.

Competition, food, blogging, children, great prizes...I can do that I thought and promptly signed up for it before going off on a three week holiday. So here is my recipe that will hopefully encourage your kid eat some healthy food.

Many years ago I was listening to a nutritionist on the radio who was saying that burgers and chips are not necessary bad for children if the burgers are homemade and contain some vegetables they can be better than other seemingly healthy foods. After listening to this I have experimented with making burgers and this works for us. I haven't included weights because I use what is handy adding a dollop of this and that so it doesn't matter if you are not precise.

Burgers

I pack round steak mince
I onion
1 courgette
handful green beans
1 yellow pepper
fresh breadcrumbs
1 egg, beaten
A good dollop of tomato ketchup

You can use any vegetables you like, I tend to use green vegetables as these are the ones my children are least keen on.

Grate the all the vegetables (this take seconds in a food processor). I find that by grating the vegetables they are hidden in the food and the children can't see them and therefore don't complain.

Put all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix well with your hands.
Shape into balls and flatten.
Bake for 20 minutes at 180 oC

I serve these burgers topped with iceberg lettuce in lightly toasted wholemeal pitta bread.

Instead of chips I served the burgers with chessy potatoes skins

4 large baking potatoes
Grated cheese
Sour cream
Chopped chives

Pierce the potatoes with a fork and microwave for 10 minutes.
Place in a hot oven for 30 minutes.
Remove, cut in half and scoop out the potato.
Cut each half in half again and lay out on a baking tray. Sprinkle the grated cheese over the top and bake for 15 minutes.
Mix together the sour cream and chives and serve as a dip.


Finish the meal with a fresh fruit salad of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, nectarines and grapes.

If your child is old enough to help in the kitchen there is lots for them to do, they will enjoy mixing the burger mixture with their hands or chopping the fruit. If they have helped to make the dinner they may be more enthusiastic in eating it.

The compteition ends in two days so pop over to Deborah to sign up if you have the (the prizes are fantastic).

I appologise for the quality of the photographs, our camera is quite basic and I find it really difficult to take pictures of food.

Calling Catwoman

You may or may not remember the little competition I ran a few weeks ago. You may of course remember if you were a prize winner and are running excitedly to the door every time the postman calls hoping for a package full of delicious flapjacks. Never fear you won't have to wait much longer as I finally got my butt into my kitchen and baked squillions about 50 flapjacks. I then packaged them up quickly before the children could demolish them and yes they got the odd slightly less perfect leftovers! So Catwoman this is your final chance to claim your prize, you wrote 'I'm so excited to be getting baked goods from Ireland!!! How exciting!' so email me on beccy1@gofree.indigo.ie . If Catwoman declines her prize (and no I won't be insulted as I could be a mad stalker after your sweetie pie) I will send it instead to commenter who begs the best. Mollie will be judging this little competition.

P.S. Many thanks to Emma who taught me how to strike out!

And the winner is...

Thank you for all the hilarious entries into my recent competition, you all had me laughing and spitting my tea out. Again I passed the judging over to Dillon and as no one correctly guessed what happened to my key, I set Dillon the task of choosing the funniest. As he sat reading the comments his laughter got louder and louder. He complained that the judging was too hard so I suggested he compile a short list and that he did. Unfortunately he couldn't shorten his shortlist so I decided all those who made it onto the shortlist are worthy of a package of flapjacks.

And the winners are (cue drum roll):

Frannie, Wendy (The artist formerly known as purpleworms), John, Catwoman, Sam and Hellojed.

Please email me your postal address and I'll get them shipped to you as soon as I bake them. I hope they will get through customs for those of you living in the US and Sam yours will come in the beautiful green packaging that you seem obsessed with!

Back to the key, I was collecting Dillon from a friends house and hopped out of the car, without locking it, to ring on the door bell. We got back into the car and when I went to put the key into the ignition half of it was missing. I assumed it was in the ignition but the car wouldn't start. Luckily we were seconds away from a Dart station so were able to get the train home. As I couldn't lock the car Joules drove his motorbike out at 10:30pm (when he returned from college) to lock the car (with the spare key) and decided to try and see did it work. Fortunately for us it did and he found the missing key on the floor. So all I have to do now is get a replacement key which is much less hassle than if it had broken in the ignition. Pretty boring really compared to all your stories so thanks for entertaining me.

Winners Corner

Earlier this week I packed up the parcels for the prize winners for my March Madness competition and posted them. I was delighted to receive a email from John thanking me for his prize and attaching a photo of himself and his prize: an Ireland scarf and some fluffy shamrock dice!

March Madness: The Result

Thank you for all the your entries to the riddle competition. I think I made it too easy as the answer was guessed straight away, congratulations Sally.

Judging the funny entries was much harder so I bottled out and appointed a judge in the form of Dillon my 13 year old son. He has a great sense of humour, a love of the English language and doesn't know any of the entrants so was very well qualified...well I thought so at least.

After much deliberation he handed me the following list: Cookiecrumb, John and Purpleworms. As I am so generous (nothing to do with not being able to shorten the list myself) I have decided you all derserve a prize so Sally, Cookiecrumb, John and Purpleworms please email me your postal address (click on 'view my complete profile' to find my email address) and soon you will find a package winging it's way to you containing a piece of quality Irish tat.

March Madness

A pinch and a punch
The first of the month.

A slap in the eye
For being so sly.

Happy March, the first day of spring. Officially here in Ireland spring starts in February but I just don't buy it, we're more likely to get snow in February, snow equals winter! Then there's August, definitely summer, slap bang in the middle of the summer holidays and the Irish call August autumn, purlease!

To commemorate March Madness I am hosting a competition. I was so excited when I came second in a recent caption competition hosted by Swampwitch that I decided it was time for an Irish themed competition. Of course this is the month when all those worldwide celebrate their Irishness, be it their great, great grandparents emigrating from Ireland back in the days of the famine to their neighbours aunties dogs brothers owners dad having supped a pint of the black stuff here once.

I have searched and scoured the shops of Ireland to bring you prizes of the highest quality so you need to get your thinking caps on.


Today's competition requires you to solve this Irish riddle:

I washed my face in water
That was never rained or run
I dried it with a towel
That was neither wove nor spun.

There is a prize for the first correct answer and the funniest answer so get those thinking caps on. The deadline for this competition is midnight on Sunday my time.