Thursday, April 05, 2007

Breaking the law...

The day had finally arrived.
I donned my long, black coat...

...my dark glasses...

...and my hat...

and stealthily crept into the den. Keeping my head down and glancing about furtively I quietly muttered my requirements. A quick nod and wink later I handed over my cash and was discreetly passed a brown paper bag.

Yeah, my first purchase of that substance that can't be legally sold here. Be warned, my mouth is sealed , I shall never divulge my sources no matter how much you beg or bribe me. I've found my dealer and I'm sticking with her.

As you can see my substance was put to good use.

And now a quiz for you:

What happened to the other half of my car key? Where was I when it happened? How did I get home? (If I wasn't home already)! All answers funny, sad or just plain stupid will be gratefully received and the winner will be awarded with a package of freshly baked flapjacks (as long as your friendly customs and excise personnel don't scoff them on the way over)!

34 comments:

Sally Lomax said...

Oh well done! Did you ask in Tescos though?

Nice looking hot x buns!

I think that possibly the yeast, which was sitting on your lap, so as not to arouse suspicion on the way home, grew uncontrollably during the drive from .........to home, exploded violently, knocking off the key in its wake.

You'll find the other half of the key in one of the buns. Bit like a sixpence at Christmas!

Amy W said...

I want some hot cross buns now.

As far as the key? I am just not creative enough to come up with a good story other then it is still in your car.

laurie said...

pancakes! man, i would do a lot for pancakes.

(i assume you've seen the happy pancake video)

it's going to take a bit of effort to come up with a scenario to rival that of ms. lomax. i'll be back....

frannie said...

you naughty lass!

the key- in order to obtain your "stuff" you had to fork over a lot of cash... too much cash. more than the original agreed upon price. you didn't have that kind of "dough" (get it?!) with you, but you Kneaded (again! darn, I'm clever) the stuff. kneaded it bad! so you did what you had to do to get it. you gave them half of you car as payment. so they needed half the key. oh, why don't you seek help before it is too late, miss beccy? we are all here for you when you are ready to admit your problem.

I think I've had some stuff myself!

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

So for those of us not in your end of the world - why is cake yeast illegal? (I thought it was lard at first and that should be illegal!)

Okay - the key - On the way home you got caught by the yeast police. They grabbed you and tried to force from you the origins of your illegal purchase. You clamped your mouth down on the key in order to prevent damage to your teeth and tongue. Being so determined not to yield up your secret, you bit the key in half and spit the piece of key out into the eye of the Police Sargent where it lodged ominously in his cornea. He squealed in pain and that's what made the Yeast Police Chief cease! (Like you said when this happened = Now I'm out of here before I get in big trouble!-( Hope I got a rise out of you!)) ;-)

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear beccy. hahahahahah you make my laff. You law-breaker. I can imagine the court case - "But I just wanted fresh buns". I think one of your kids had an itchy nose and used the key to scratch it, it went up too far and could only be removed by snapping off. The other half is still up someone's nose...?

Mr. X said...

It was eaten by aliens :)

Sam said...

YAY!

hooray

your hot cross buns look wonderful!


But are you trying to get rid of those sickly looking green-wrapped flapjacks on your poor unsuspecting readers? I told you they didn't look too good and that nobody would want to eat them!

ChrisB said...

I'm laughing at this 'coat and dagger' post.

All the comments are brilliant and compliment your post.
Nothing I can offer will compare.

Catwoman said...

Well, we all know thugs like you will do anything to get your supply.

So my guess is that you've sharpened the key and used it as a dagger and that it's still lodged in the counter at the bakery when you threw it down as a threat to your dealer when she tried to short change you by a gram.

Because your mama didn't raise no yeast fool.

my4kids said...

haha, I am laughing now at both your post and comments as well, you naughty yeast buyer!

Also I am with your mum I can't come up with anything to rival any of the other comments, just not creative enough. I am ejoying the laugh though and would assume the other half of the key is in your car?

john.g. said...

Beccy, if YOU don't know the answer to those questions, i despair, i really do. Lay off th GUINESS !!

john.g. said...

Yeast you laff, mi spelings gon pi shapped.

Vicki said...

the other half of your key is in the ignition. You could still start the car because you put the broken part inside the igntion and it fits to start the car in the key and tumbler.

I know how to give you an estimate to fix it. =)

Karmyn R said...

Oh no - your first step into the seedy underbelly of society. hee hee.

and geez - I hope you were HOME when the key broke off and not stranded somewhere with your illegal purchases. (did it break while you were dashing from the yeast source?)

I drove a VW Beetle for years and I had at least 3 keys that broke on me.

Sabrina said...

All I know is that my husband discovered flapjacks while I was away and is now demanding that I make them. Um. . I'm a little busy trying to move us back, love!
I have no creative story for you, but I love the set-up!!!!!

Sam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sam said...

I know how the key broke!
You went on a picnic, and you took homemade flapjacks. You'd only recently baked them and they were still cooling in the pan so you decided to transport them that way and cut them into pieces when you had set up your picnic spot.

Duh! You forgot the knife, so you decided to use the car key to cut them instead. Unfortunately the flapjacks had set so hard, you snapped the key right in two. No worries, you happened to have a spare set of keys on you, so it wasn't too difficult to drive straight home, I mean to the dentist (which is where the kids all had to go, since they all broke their teeth on those flapjacks)

8:39 PM

john.g. said...

Sam, I can't beat that. Excellent!

Barbara said...

I won't play because NZ Customs wouldn't let you send them to me and I'm just not as clever as all your other readers. Nice buns though.

Matt said...

You should just get people to mail it to you. That's what I do.

Kila said...

Mmm, they look delicious.

As for your key, I had to laugh at the other suggestions. Around here I'd guess it was broken as my 4 yr old tried using it to break into his big brother's room.

min said...

I know what happened. Your 14 year old tried to pry open a CD case with it. Been there, done that.

Pamela said...

I didn't read all the other guesses.. lazy tonight.. well tired really.

so, sour dough????


and your key... please don't tell me you we're cleaning out your ear wax.

Beccy said...

Thank you for all the entries there's been lots of laughter over here as we read them now all I have to do is find a judge!

Stephanie said...

I can't beat the stories already presented!!

Regardless, your day did NOT go according to plan. Sorry!!

(Wish I could get some of those flapjacks, though...)

I'm (sort of) saluting your family today! Come see!

hellojed said...

Fantastic post, loving the outfit! I reckon you lost the other part of your key in a duel over the last parking space. You may have lost half of your key - but you still won the duel. Congratulations!

My bf loves baking - he's great like that - and I told him about your flapjacks. Expect another duel, this time with flapjack baking! The winner - me.

Sally Lomax said...

Hi Beccy

I've just seen your reply to my suggestion about yeast! Apols - hadn'thought to look back again!! Maybe it was Sainsbur's, but I thought it was Tescos i got it from..........

Oh well.... you got some. tAHt's the main thing!!

Look good too.

CPA Mom said...

What? Yeast is illegal?

Flapjacks - are pancakes here in the U.S. I would LOVE your recipe...

Broken key...In anger over your flapjacks coming out hard again, you picked up your keys, determined to run away to drown your sorrows at the local pub. In your anger and haste, you jammed your keys into the ignition and broke off the key when you tried to start the car. The key is still in the ignition and will cost you major bucks to get it removed and a new key made. You consider bribing the mechanics with flapjacks but remember too late that yours are hard.

Robin said...

Min will be happy to know I GOT NOTHING! NO-THING!! These stories are wonderful, I see more than a few "winners". Guess this is what I get when I'm late for the party :).

I think half my comment on the other post was because I had read this first...go figure.

Beccy said...

Robin late entries accepted!

swampwitch said...

I plan to try to make hot-cross buns this weekend...
Where was I when this post went up? How did I miss a contest?

Since I'm so late, I'm disqualified, but I would imagine the other part of the key is in the ignition...or in the ear of someone on the staff at the SFC.

elena jane said...

rofl, i have nothing to add, but only can say thanks for the giggle!! :)

enidd said...

fantastic. enidd thinks that after you'd obtained your illegal substance, you needed a beer or two to go with it, and used your key to open the bottle, breaking it.

then you couldn't get home, so you had another 5 beers, and sold some of your illgal substance on the streets of dublin - flapping open your dark coat and whispering furtively - "yeast, yeast!" eventually you did a deal with some students and got enough money to join the car rescue service.

or something.