Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Mollieitus

Thank you for all your well wishes and I'm feeling a lot better although apparently I sound like a pneumatic drill when I'm asleep but I've only woken myself up a few times with the noise (Joules on the other hand has been having trouble sleeping)!

Last Friday when I felt cold, shivering and had a headache which wouldn't shift I spent the morning in A&E. Of course with Mollie. On Wednesday Mollie came home from school complaining that her toe was sore but she hadn't knocked or hurt it in any way. I had a look and it seemed fine, no swelling, no broken skin. An hour later Mollie couldn't walk, her toe was red and swollen and she couldn't walk on it. By Friday it was very sore and she had resorted to using her crutches (luckily the hospital had refused to take them back because it costs too much to sterilize them). An x-ray confirmed no fracture so the doctors decided to take blood to check for arthritis which if I say worried me slightly that would be a huge understatement, worse still, it would take a week to get the results. It was a long weekend in which I felt rotten and worried far too much. On Monday I managed to get hold of my GP who chased up the results and was able to tell us that Mollie doesn't have arthritis or any form of infection and to continue to rest the toe. We were very relieved to hear this and Mollie had named her condition Mollieitus. Today there is some improvement, Mollie is still on crutches but the swelling has receded and it is not as sore.

After that stress it was great to receive this joke from John.

Sainsbury condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hand
Abbey National Condoms - because life is complicated enough
Coca Cola Condoms - The real thing
Pringles Condoms - once you pop, you can't stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the Whopper
Goodyear Condoms - For a longer ride, go wide
Muller light condoms - So much pleasure, but where's the pain?
Flash Condoms - Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hard work
Halford Condoms - We go the extra mile
Royal Mail Condoms - I saw this and thought of you
Andrex Condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Domestos Condoms - Gets right in the rim
Heineken Condoms - Reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg Condoms - Probably the best condom in the world
Pepperami Condoms - It's a bit of an animal Polo Condoms - The condom with the hole!! (VERY poor seller !!)
McDonalds Condoms - I'm Lovin' it!
American Express Condoms - Don't Leave Home Without it, or: That'll Do Nicely!
Microsoft Condoms - Where Do You Want To Go Today?
Radio Times Condoms - If it's on it's in
Pedigree Chum dog food condoms - Top breeders recommend it!
Daily Express condoms - Express Delivery
Martini Condoms - Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere
Churchill Condoms - OH,YES
Kellogg's Fruit and Fibre Condoms - They're tasty, tasty, very, very tasty
Veet Condoms - Take the bull by the horns
XXXX Condoms - Australians wouldn't give a XXXX with anything else
TV Times Condoms - I never knew there was so much in it
Boddington's Condoms - The cream of Manchester
Cadburys Condoms - a Glass and Half in every one
Mars Condoms - Help You Work, Rest & Play
Special K Condoms - If You Can Pinch More Than An Inch
Bisto Condoms - Ahhhhhhhhh.!
Fruit Pastilles Condoms - Bet you can't put one in your mouth without chewing it
DFS Condoms - Open every bank holiday
Kwik Fit condoms - you can't get quicker than a Kwik Fit fitter!
Nintendo DS condoms - touching is good
Maxwell House condoms - good to the last drop
Rice Krispies Condoms - Snap, Crackle, Pop
EA Sports Condoms - It's in the game
Ebay Condoms - Buy it. Sell it. Love it.
Capital One Comdoms - What's In Your Wallet?
Morgan Stanley Condoms - One Client At A Time
Heinz Condoms - 57 Varieties
Creme Egg Condoms - How do you eat yours?
Nokia Condoms - Connecting People
Frosties Condoms - They're Grrrrreat!!
RAF Condoms - Rise above the rest
HM Revenue & Customs Condoms - It doesn't have to be taxing
Windows Vista Condoms - The Wow Starts Now
Mac Mini Condoms - Small is Beautiful
Philadelphia Condoms - A little taste of heaven
FedEx Condoms - When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight
Burger King Condoms - Have It Your Way
Yellow Pages Condoms = Let your fingers do the walking
T-Mobile Condoms - Simply Closer
Ikea Condoms - Screw yourself!

21 comments:

Emma in Canada said...

Ouch on the toe! And they have no idea what may have caused it?

Glad to hear you are feeling better!

ChrisB said...

Now it's my turn Rebecca!!

Lil Mouse said...

cute sayings. some of them i've never heard of course, but some slogans are the same here in the US so it made me grin..

Asha said...

She probably has sprained it or teenagers just get pains like that sometimes. Glad it's nothing serious! Take care of yourself too, Flu is everywhere these days!:)
Jokes, HeHe!!

nikki said...

Ouch! Hope the toe feels better soon. You too!

thefoodsnob said...

Very clever of Mollie, hope she is fine soon.
Great condom jokes, thanks, I needed that today!

Lisa

Alix said...

Hoe Mollie's toe is back to normal soon.
Excellent jokes - very clever

Karmyn R said...

Poor Mollie. (If it doesn't clear up soon - I'd take her back and make sure they recheck for a bacterial infection).

and the funniest condom? KFC

JoeInVegas said...

Mollieitus? Have to look that one up in Wikipedia.

elena jane said...

ouch on M's toe, hope she recovers fully!
lol @ the puns...

Beckie said...

That toe - what a mystery. I was thinking gout, but then I just looked it up and found that gout is a form of arthritis - so I guess that wasn't it.

I hope everyone is feeling better soon.

I like the Ikea saying...

Steffi said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better!I hope Mollie is fine soon!

Funny condom words...

Sam said...

Tell mollie I think I have Mollieitus too - not on my toe, but in my head. I'll wish her (and you) better if she wishes me ;)

xxxx

Willowtree said...

I don't like the sound of that toe business at all.

frannie said...

that is so odd about Mollie's toe! Poor thing!

lisa marie said...

Boy somebody had a lot of time on the hands - oops - to come up - double oops - with all of those!

Glad you're feeling better.

Pamela said...

The toe worried me, too.

REBECCA
(channeling Chris, bwaa ha ha ha)

Deborah said...

Oh poor Mollie - that's awful! Hope the cleaning is going alright and you have a lovely visit from your Mum!

Alison said...

Oh..poor Molly...is it better now?? that is awfully strange!

dawn said...

That is a weird situation with the toe. Mystery illnesses are not great. At least they ruled out infection and things that could cause immediate long term distress. If it continues, they will find it.

my4kids said...

Mollieitis that is cute. Hope your both feeling better.
Funny jokes