Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Witty Wednesday

Ben decided to pack last night: 20 socks, 8 hardback books, all his boxer shorts, 3 jumpers/fleeces, all his t-shirts, pyjamas and 5 cuddly toys! I'll be repacking today!

I'm not one to shirk a dare so when John dared me to publish the following joke this witty Wednesday I rose to the challenge. Personally I think it shows how good women are are multi tasking and they keep track of their financial accounts!

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts."

"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver; waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

24 comments:

PortraitofPeter said...

I had to laugh at your "Witty Wednesday" post!!

How very true - one has to agree with this in every sense, although some of the men have been known to appear to follow their femine trait.

If I see a lady or two at an ATM I always come back later - helps the blood pressure!!

frannie said...

very funny! and, yes, a lot of that is true!

I love Ben's packing! Brilliant. What else does a 6 year old need?

The very nice man said...

Why write about the obvious??
Heehee!!! (Sorry!!)

ChrisB said...

beccy that is so ben and he has his priority- the cuddly toys! I liked the joke, women are far more entertaining than the boring men!!

Girl con Queso said...

Oh dear, it's so true.

Steffi said...

Very funny post,Beccy!

It´s funny too how much need your 6 years old boy!

Asha said...

LOL @ drive up to cash machine.
I am not sure it's typical woman thing to do all that but it might apply to some!I am very organized and a good driver!!;D
Good luck with the repacking!HAHA!!

Sabrina said...

Totally off topic, but I miss fleece. I couldn't concentrate on reading your post because I was looking so longingly at your weather forecast. . it's not 9AM here and already twice your temperature at least. . ..sigh. ..enjoy the repacking!!!

Julie said...

OMG, unfortunately that is terribly accurate! Have a wonderful trip to France - sounds fabulous!

Emma in Canada said...

I totally have to open the car door, my arms are not long enough to reach through the window.

Enjoy the trip!

john.g. said...

'nuff said!

Catwoman said...

I have to say, that is mighty hysterical!

So I take it Ben doesn't like to go barefoot then, with the amount of socks he's packing!

Have so much fun! I'm very, very jealous!

Karmyn R said...

At least I'm not the only one who has to open the door to retrieve my money!!

Have a GREAT vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christine said...

Hey, Ben packed all the important things he'd need.

LOL!How very true!! :)

I just recieved my Secret Swap, and mine's on it's way!

john.g. said...

It's slightly unnerving to see that the female of the species are ALL crap drivers when it comes to manoevering!

*slinks off cowering*

mark said...

Perfect.

Here's one I overheard some neighborhood kids telling:

Three flies are in a kitchen, how do you know which one is a cowboy?

He's on the range.

headless chicken said...

Absolutley spot on about the cash machine. I'm glad I'm not a boring bloke,they're nowhere near as entertaining!
Love the uncluttered way kids approach things.......Bens packing was great,he obviously didn't spend ages "umming and aahing" as I do when packing,he just got on with it. Brilliant!

Lynne said...

I'm so bad at drive-thru anything.
Sounds like Ben is planning on a very long vacation. Have a great time!

my4kids said...

I've seen this one before I am more like the male driver though I don't seem to have problems but Kelly is the one who has to backup!

My kids like to do their own packing sometimes also it is pretty funny there is just no rhyme or reason to it!

Pamela said...

You could ask the young woman who is responsible for our ATM machine where I work - that 9 out of 10 ATM cards left behind and then swallowed by the device belong to M.E.N



I'm not joking. Honest!

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

I have to say, I don't like this joke very much. I'd like it better if the one about the man talked about how sexy he thought he was and how he has to sit there for an hour while he flirts with a bank clerk who would never ever go out with him, but feels she has to be polite to him and talk because he is a customer.

Beckie said...

The part about the parking break - oh so true.

Sally Lomax said...

Very funny!

Have a great hol!!

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

That made me laugh so hard even though I didn't want too. Damnit.
LOL.