Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Witty Wednesday Is Back!

The following is an actual advertisement in an Irish newspaper.

Automobile for Sale

1985 Blue Volkswagen


Only 50 miles. Only first gear and reverse ever used.


Never driven hard. Original tires. Original brakes.


Original fuel and oil


Only 1 driver. Owner wishing to sell due to employment lay-off.

Thanks to John who keeps me well supplied with plenty of jokes.

Barbara sent me this with its Irish theme.

On holiday in Europe, David noticed a marble column in a church in Rome with a golden telephone on it.

As a young priest passed by, David asked who the telephone was for. The priest told him it was a direct line to Heaven, and if he'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars. David was amazed, but declined the offer.

Throughout Europe David kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column at each church. When he asked about it the answer was always the same ie a direct line to Heaven and he could call for a thousand dollars.

David finished his European tour in Ireland. He decided to attend Mass at a local village church. When he walked in the door he noticed the golden telephone, but underneath it there was a sign stating:

DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN - 25 cents

"Father," he said I have been all over Europe and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one but the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?

The priest smiled and said, "Son, You're in Ireland now, it's only a local call!

I can tell you with the terrible summer weather we're experiencing here it feels far from heavenlike.

24 comments:

hellojed said...

Excellent jokes! I especially enjoyed the second one. The Irish love to think that they are the closest to God...St Patrick is going to get us all into heaven apparently.

Lisa said...

Thanks for the morning laughs!

Sally Lomax said...

Loved the car joke!

ChrisB said...

Loved these very funny. My supply has run a bit thin since I've been away!

frannie said...

cracking up!!!! those are hilarious!

Asha said...

HeHe!! Funny Wednesday indeed!! Thanks Beccy.Love the photo,how picturesque!

Amy W said...

Thanks for making me laugh!!

Skye said...

Oh. My. God. The weather. In England. SUCKS.

I remember my first summer in Cambridge (last summer) when I thought, "Why does everyone complain so much about the weather in England? It's LOVELY here!!"

And I thought that riiight up until...about... a month ago. It's JULY people!! WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE THAT IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COLD ANY MORE?!?!

That is all.

Rachel said...

That ad is hilarious!!

mjd said...

The Irish joke is delightful.

CPA Mom said...

I'm not Irish, I've never been to Ireland but that made me laugh out loud! Thanks!

Steffi said...

Really funny,Beccy!Nice jokes!

Vicki said...

i have come for the flapjack recipe. =) Hand it over please.

honestly I can't find it anywhere. searching doesn't do me any good. Can you send me the link to the recipe? I have company on Sat and I want to woo them with your flapjacks.

Karmyn R said...

Hee hee -

Never been to Ireland, but have always wanted to visit - as I hear its simply gorgeous.

john.g. said...

Thought you'd like that Beccy. Loved the second one!

Christine said...

I didn't see the first one coming.

Loved the last joke.Very funny.

Thanks for the laughs.

Shauna said...

Thanks! Love the ad for the VW!

my4kids said...

Funny jokes....I've seen the car one but the golden telephone I haven't heard before.

Kila said...

The ad and photo is hilarious :)

Sam said...

The car one is a real advert?? Seriously?? Or am I just too gullible, lol

Pamela said...

a local call..... that is wonderful. I must come and see if it is true.

&:

la bellina mammina said...

Funny!!

Heather J said...

Ha! Funny!!! I like the ad. Thanks for the laugh!

Debbie said...

Great jokes. The car advertisement along with the picture is priceless! Thanks for the laugh.