Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Help: She's addicted...what can I do?

I wonder whether my mother loves me as much as much as her new toy? Within seconds minutes of returing to her house from the airport on Monday she was hooked up and reading her blogs whilst her grandson was begging her to play cars. Is there a name for this computer addiction? Is there treatment available for her? Or is she lost to the blogosphere? It's a good job she has two computers or else I wouldn't have done any blogging whilst she was hogging (like the rhyme) the new computer!

My usual supplier sent me this joke to share today, hope you enjoy it.

Miracle Cure
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.
White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

However, White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

26 comments:

Barbara said...

Love that one.

Asha said...

Hahaha! Your mum is addicted like we all are!!To blog,to comments and to reply to comments.We are all bunch of crazy people!;D

Tiggerlane said...

I totally am disallowed, for the rest of my life, to drink red wine. Totally.

And this one? "The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning."

I consider my bubble burst.

Sally Lomax said...

I can understand Chris!

Melissa said...

Yes! I had this sent to me, but white wine was replaced with tequila. ;)

Marmite Breath said...

White wine can do no wrong. For reals.

(except make the room spin. that's wrong).

The British Wino said...

I'm so drunk off the wine, I'm coming over in a taxi to de-clutter your whole house!....

la bellina mammina said...

Love it - lol!

Emma in Canada said...

HA! That was hilarious.

swamp witch said...

I have slowly become allergic to both white and red wine...posted my favorite today.
Your list is too funny but oh, so true.
Be sure to check out the Flapjack post tomorrow.

my4kids said...

So are you saying we shouldn't drink alcohol????
Cause you know I sing best after a few drinks...........

Steffi said...

Funny post!I agree with Asha too!

hellojed said...

I take White Wine too, and you can't beat it. I'd recommend it to anyone. Next morning is a killer though. ;)

ChrisB said...

rebecca as you can see from your other comments there are some 'friends' out there who are on my side!!

EmBee said...

Thats a bit of a cold hard tone to your voice there ChrisB you never call her Rebecca but always Becs or Beccy. Love

Catwoman said...

Love it!!!!

Mr. X said...

What you can achieve with red wine?

Even more intense hangovers and more vomit in the loo, usually.

You think she's addicted? it's our week off and what are we doing? Reading blogs. What a saddo...

wolfbaby said...

thats to funny bout the warnings..

the addition, join the crowd, cept none of th elinks worked.

Beckie said...

That was a good one - I love the Warnings!

Sam said...

hard liquor is even better. I woke up this morning with all my clothes on and no idea how I got home.

Rachel said...

That one is hilarious!!

Pamela said...

thats so odd you brought up shyness
yesterday I read about a nasal spray to cure shyness. I thought it sounded much like an illegal drug that people use in their nose...

I didn't see the same WARNINGS on it as white whine. I have some white wine chilling right now -- It was part of the gift I sent to my friend L'chaim in Texas and it got returned. The chocolate was spoiled. sigh.

Pamela said...

http://www.ebiologynews.com/2367.html

my link stunk

Lisa said...

Just like some of the drugs on tv, the side-affects are worse than the original affliction!
(When it comes to wine, though, I'll chance it!)

Zoomie said...

Hi, Beccy, loved the joke about white wine! I found you through a comment you left with Cookiecrumb and I'm glad I visited. Your Mom sounds like a woman after my own heart! And, being half Irish, I've always wanted to visit Ireland! Keep up the fun work!

Debbie said...

LOLOL!! I am pretty addicted myself. I just love meeting new blogger friends, like yourself. :)