Wow, 20 comments on one picture, I wasn't expecting that but thanks for the kind and funny words you all made me laugh. A lot of you were right yesterday with the s**t hitting the fan, (sorry Mum). Yesterday was not a great day in terms of issues that involve the Parents Association in Mollie's and Ben's school, of which I am secretary. Unfortunately someone deemed it unnecessary to divulge important information to me before a meeting but instead to drop the clanger at the meeting knowing that this involved my child and I had already queried it happening and had been told on two occasions that it would not. Are you confused? I am but as this is a public blog with my name and face plastered all over it I don't want to be too personal (one earful is enough for me to take). Thank God for Witty Wednesday because I need a laugh.
Of interest to those who seek and recruit staff.
Job : B & Q (a DIY store) JOB APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?
£150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.
A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
It was a crap job.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely.