Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Male Drivers!!!

I looked over to my left and there was a

woman



in a brand new


Porsche


doing 65 mph



with her
face up next to her
rear view mirror

putting on her eyeliner.



I looked away



for a couple seconds

and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.

As a man,


I don't scare easily.



But she scared me so much;

I dropped

my electric shaver
,

which knocked

the doughnut


out of my other hand.

In all


the confusion of trying


to straighten out the car

using my knees against


the steering wheel,



it knocked


my mobile



away from my ear


which fell


into the coffee



between my legs,


splashed,


and burned


Big Jim and the Twins,



ruined the damn phone,


soaked my trousers,


and disconnected an
important call.


Damn women drivers

20 comments:

Lisa said...

I love it, so true!
Although, it was a man reading a newspaper when I was about twenty who made me run the nylons I was putting on while smoking a cigarette and driving a stick.
Men drivers!

Beccy said...

How inconsiderate of him Lisa!

john.g. said...

You damn sexist!! LOL.
I`ve never heard of BIG JIM and the TWINS before.

elena jane said...

rofl, i like this!! :)

frannie said...

NICE!

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear beccy. By the end, I realised that it didn't happen to you... but I was rather interesting in hearing a road rage story a la beccy!

Little Miss Moi said...

I mean, interested!

Beccy said...

Have you heard of little Jim and the walnuts John?

Thanks EJ and Frannie.

I have to admit miss moi that this was sent to me, it made me laugh so I had to share it!

fatman said...

Very droll. I like it. By the way thanks for the bad poetry vote Beccy!

john.g. said...

I`ve heard of Kid Creole and the Coconuts. Does that count?

Robin said...

Uh, oh. If Willowtree reads this, you're in BIG TROUBLE!

Peter, if you DO read this, for the record, I think about you every time I make or take a call with my cell while driving. Which isn't NEARLY as often as it used to be.

Beccy, I hope he skips you today, lol.

And thank you for the GRIN!

Steffi said...

It´s nice and true!

Beccy said...

No worries fatman, it was incredibly bad.

Maybe John, maybe.

Robin, I might be in luck, I don't think if visits me, in fact I'm quaking in my purple bedsocks, I hope he doesn't...don't tell him...please...pretty please...

So true Steffi, so true.

my4kids said...

Ha ha this is to funny and yes so true!

I can't beleive Johng had never heard of BIG JIM and the TWINS! I've heard that one before. hehe

ChrisB said...

I have read this before Beccy but I still Laughed the second time around

Sam said...

Anyone who does any one of those things whilst driving regardless of sex is irresponsible.

I don't even like using my phone handsfree. I have done it once or twice but I am uncomfortable doing so. Just talking can cause your mind to wander from the task in hand.

Here in the US I have seen all of the following committed by drivers:

playing harmonica
eating bowl of cereal
reading a book
curling eyelashes
repeatedly kissing the pet parrot sitting on their shoulder.

Karmyn said...

That gave me the chuckles.

Emma in Canada said...

That was too funny, Beccy!

Beccy said...

I'd never heard it before my4kids, must be American.

That's good Mum.

It was a joke Sam, funny not meant for you to get your knickers in a twist!

Thanks Karmyn and Emma.

Sally Lomax said...

Funny!