Wednesday, February 21, 2007

3 useful items to keep in your car at all times.

1) An empty bottle with a lid. Useful for when you are driving on a motorway and your son needs to relieve himself. Note, doesn't work with girls. This is particularly useful if you are stationary on a slip road, yards away from the toilet but a long time away due to a traffic jam. You son will be able to slip out of his seat belt and stick his willy into said bottle therefore relieving himself.

2) A large pack of wet wipes. These will be particularly useful when you sons willy somehow comes out of the bottle but he continues releasing his urine saying 'I can't help it, it's hard'.

3) A plastic bag. Useful for disposing of the plastic bottle full of urine and the large number of wet wipes used to clean up the mess. You may find that you even have time to throw away all the of the rubbish lurking in your car into said plastic bag whilst stuck in the traffic jam.


Sam said...

I cannot believe how you publicly embarassing your son.

Are you sure you couldn't have used the word 'difficult' instead of 'hard' because you have created a rather unfortunate double entendre. I hope that was not your intent.

Hmmm, I know another story about toilet relief inside motor vehicles.
I would not dream of telling it on a blog.
In fact I would not dream of telling anyone full stop.
Do you know what I am talking about?

Lisa said...

O.K., Beccy, now I need a package of wipes to clean my monitor because I just spit Greek yogurt all over it from laughing!

(Although, these are very useful tips for those of us with sons!)

Beccy said...

Sam I am not publically embarressing my son, we laugh about these things, he's still very young. I have kept my mouth shut over some very potentionally embarressing incidents that would make great reading!

Maybe I should have used the word difficult but remember we are tslking about a six year old who doesn't get 'hard' and I quoted him!

Finally that sounds like a threat to me and I genuinely do not know what you are talking about but don't care if you write about it.

Beccy said...

Lisa we laughed at the time, then stopped off at a shopping mall to dispose of the plastic bag and ended up having a lovely lunch out together.

Ben was quite pleased with the end result!

ChrisB said...

this is a hoot i'm laughing right now and i'm surprised he didn't tell me about when we were talking on the phone just now.

Karmyn said...

HEE HEE!!!!!

Actually - I have it from a good source (my niece) that girls can actually urinate in one of those plastic baggies while in the car.

I wouldn't recommend coffee cups...they aren't quite big enough.

john.g. said...

Not that i have any experience on the subject, but wouldn`t a funnel help for girls? Well said Beccy, tell Sam to p*ss off!!

Amy W said...

The visual is killing me right now!!

I know many people who keep those little potty chairs in their cars. A good friend of mine will just let her son pee where ever, including on my house (even though he could have gone right inside...)

Steffi said...

Really funny!Okay,I have 2 girls...
We have much laughed!


elena jane said...

lol, whatever works in a pinch ;)
too funny really, and thanks for sharing :)

Sam said...

not a threat at all - just thought the memory might give you a giggle.

John G - in our family we don't speak to each other in such a crude manner.
But we have no trouble talking to strangers that way.

P*** off yourself.

Slick said...

All this willy talk...but I too, have peed in a bottle.

Was that too much info??

Asha said...

LOL @ all three!!!
Beccy, the solutions you come out with are admirable!;D

We had a plastic porta potty in the car for my girl when she was three in UK.

Beccy said...

Mum, I wish he would tell me before he's desperate!

Karmyn, my daughter has amazing bladder control so I wouldn't know what works for girls.

John, don't get upset with Sam, it's sisterly love and the way we are with each other! Wouldn't like to try a funnel myself!

Amy I use to keep a travel potty in the car when the children were younger, now Ben just hops out to go discreetly only you're not allowed to stop the car on a motorway here.

Glad to have amused you Steffi.

Elena Jane I used all resources available!

Still have no recollection Sam so not laughing, I assume I peed my pants in the car, am I hot?

Just a bit Slick!

I used to have one Asha but not any more.

momto3cubs said...

Yes, I agree, those are all must-haves with kids around!

Isn't it nice how boys can pee anywhere/anytime so much easier than us females?

fatman said...

As a former boy. And yes I know how that could be misconstrued but what I mean is as a now man? Hmm I am tired.

But yes it is a blessing to be able to pee almost anywhere. When I was stuck in traffic with friends a girl with us was caught short and managed to maintain control for hours until she had to leap from the car and run, with her legs knotted, around London looking for a private spot to relieve herself, which she did only to find she did it on a hill. She climbed back in the car having, despite her efforts, soaked her trousers anyway. The rest of the hot day in traffic was not good. Not good at all! Poor women!

Sam said...

you're way off. we'll discuss in private some time.

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear beccy. Oh dear. I am more disturbed by the wipes part than the bottle, nothing wrong with the bottle, but stemming a flow of liquid with a wet cloth? Did it actually work PROPERLY?

enid said...

enid had a nice giggle over that one! she had a boyfriend once who drank too much beer at lunchtime, and then had to go in the back of the bus. the only receptable was a family-size crisp packet. enid and the boyfriend's relationship didn't last.

my4kids said...

Oh man that was to funny Beccy. We have had many drives where that probably would have come in handy but fortunatly the boys have great bladder control and where we live a lot of woodsy areas so there are lots of trees to hide and go but not always a lot of public restrooms and my kids are a little shy of those. Funny thing is my girls have actually taught themselves how to pee standing up and they don't get themselves wet, well sometimes Maddie does but Kenzie is a pro! I'm not sure how they figured it out but they are pretty proud of themselves.

Ailsa said...

Very funny Beccy. I assume you are writing about your youngest son!

Beccy said...

Mumto3cubs boys definintely have the advantage in the weeing stakes!

Fatman, your poor friend. As a beer drinking student I perfected the art of finding privates places and relieving myself without wetting clothes, wearing a skirt or dress makes it much easier!

Will I look forward to that I wonder Sam!

Little miss moi, I didn't stem the flow as such as I quickly directed his willy back into the bottle but there was a bit of a fine spray. The wet wipes were more like almost dry wipes as they have lived in the car for about four years so were perfect for mopping up.

I can understand why your relationship with that boyfriend didn't last Enid.

They sound like great girls my4kids.

I am indeed Ailsa.

fatman said...

I tag you Beccy

Momo said...

I totally agree with the plastic ought to have it!

Sally Lomax said...

YEUCH!!! The things we do for our kids!!


john.g. said...

Sorry, Sam, i didn`t know you were sisters..embarrassed!!

Wendz said...

Ha ha John - don't be embarrassed - this is my first time here and I also got annoyed by Sam's comment and agreed with yours...then continued reading and all was revealed. You should here me and my siblings insulting each other!

Beccy, Fabien, my youngest son, is nearly 7 and believe me he gets hard! That's what I thought you meant actually.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Beccy said...

I must replace the bag with another now Momo.

Not only the things we do Sally, we do them without puking!

Ah John you are so sweet, I'll let her know to put her claws of sisterly love away!

Wendz, well Ben is hard apon waking but I was quoting him as he spoke!

Robin said...

Beccy, I enjoyed the comments almost as much as the post, lol.

1) I knew Sam was your sis, so I wasn't "annoyed" with her at all. I wonder if I would've thought differently if I didn't know that. She said something I was thinking as well (difficult vs. hard).

2) My sons have used a soda can...the down side is there is NO lid...YIKES!

Boys have it so lucky;).

Beccy said...

Robin, if I didn't have Sam to wind me up who would I have!!!

Still waiting to hear the other story.